Hannah Scott

Why Friendships Lead to Steadfast Growth

“If you want to go fast, go alone.

But if you want to go far, go together.”

African proverb

This goes for healing, for business, for health, for happiness, for longevity, and more.

I’ve been the lone wolf, even in a room full of people I knew. It was fun, but deep down…painfully lonely.

True community can only be made by putting in the work to show up consistently. When you put in the hard work of letting down your walls to let love in.

It happens when you look for connection instead of comparing people to your list of expectations.

It happens when you create space by letting go of fear of rejection, current poor relationships, and time stealers that don’t serve you.

Healthy connections blossom when it’s an equal give and take relationship.

They flourish when you are intentional and define the purpose of the relationship in your life.

You define it by internally identifying this person as your ”best friend”, your ”mentor”, your “sister”, your “good friend, and so on. This helps you show up for your role in the relationship.

And you also understand that it’s okay for this dynamic to change at any point in time.

Solo you may have fun and the perception of external success.

But with a loving community you have both of the above PLUS a place to be fully yourself, you have a safe place to cry and laugh, you have people who show understanding or curiosity for your beliefs, you have an abundance of love coming and going to and from you, you have built in cheerleaders and advisors, and life long friends.

It’s the. place where you are accepted as you are.

Putting in that hard work in to show up consistently and overcome what’s holding you back to find your community is more than worth it.

Accepting Your Inner Child

There’s a little part of all of us that

wants to be held when we feel sad.

It holds on to when you walked up to that boy on the playground and asked if he wanted to be your best friend and he said yes without hesitation.

It craves to hear the words “I love you” when we feel ashamed, embarrassed, or scared.

This part of us loves the way our body looks and wants everyone else to feel the same way.

This part of us is playful and full of curiosity.

It wants to be silly without fear of judgement.

It remembers and repeats your reaction when your parents danced or yelled at each other in the kitchen.

Protection and a sense of belonging runs deep in this region of us and feels a little lost and scared of you didn’t receive either as a kid.

It remembers when people cheered for us (or didn’t) when we stood up to sing at the Christmas concerts…

It’s the pet of us that echos the words your teachers said when you aced a test or didn’t do your homework.

It holds on to how your body felt when bullies were relentless…

And how your body felt when you got your first kiss.

It runs so deep and impacts every part of your life.

This part of you is called your Inner Child.

And she/he wants to be healed.

6 Phrases Safe Friendships Use

I was in sobbing on the couch when she walked in.

My sweet friend immediately dropped to her knees in front of me on the couch.

“Oh honey…” she said “Are you okay?”

I shook my head yes and no.

And what she said next one of the most loving phrases that you can and should bring to a relationship.

“What do you need in this moment from me?”

I stared at her through tear filled eyes.

It’s difficult to put into words how loved I felt in that moment as I replied asking for a tissue.

If you want to have a deep connection vulnerable moments are part of the journey.

Using phrase like the ones below regularly are what it’s made of:

“Do you just want me to listen or would you like advice right now?”

“What do you need from me in this moment?”

“Are you venting or would you like me to help fix it?”

And when situations come up that up that you are unable to help with, be forthcoming. Because you want what’s best for your friend,

even if you aren’t the answer.

You do this by saying phrases like:

“This subject is out of my realm of knowledge, have you considered seeing (a therapist, counselor, coach, or expert)?”

“I’m unable to give you unbiased advice on this topic.”

“I wish I could help, but I don’t know how.”

Safe and loving relationships are full of people who focus on what the opposite party needs, wants, and asks for.

What is Dissociation?

It’s when you feel like you’re in a cloud…

A dream…

It’s where your mind disconnects.

Your mind does this when you experience something so hard that you just can’t.

Dissociation.

We do this when:

You don’t have a safe place to tell your story.

And when you don’t have the coping skills to process an event.

It’s healthy. It keeps you functioning.

However prolonged dissociation leads to feeling disconnected from self and others, difficulty focusing, difficulty feeling emotion of any kind, chronic illness, anxiety, depression, and more.

To stop living in the cloud you need a safe place to release your experience, a safe place for your emotions to be held without shame, and a listening ear that helps you learn the coping skills to process your experience.

If you’re looking for a safe place,

I’d be honored to help you.

Because life is beautiful when you take away the fog and you deserve to feel all of it!

How to Get Through the Hard Days

It’s because even on my worst days,

I want to be found dancing in the kitchen.

It’s for when Sh** hits the fan and I still show up for my family without a second thought.

For those days I feel lazy, but know a cold shower will give me energy and boost my spirit.

For the days I want to step away to focus completely on myself.

For the times my schedule is so full of goodness

I know I would forget things without this.

It’s so that I can give beyond myself when family, friends, or someone in my community needs help.

You know the days when you need to give yourself grace and fall apart a little.

You form habits so that on the tough days,

you still meet your goals.

So that when you don’t want to show up,

you know exactly how to delegate.

It helps create space to give more to the people you love because you are not stuck in the race of catching up.

Habits become second nature.

You do it so that when you are tired, you don’t think twice, you do because they become a part of you.

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