Is There Purpose in Pain?

What if the purpose of pain isn’t to make you miserable?
Many years ago I was dealing with chronic pain.
It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
Even after 3 unmedicated births, I can still say living daily chronic pain topped natural birth.The pain was so agonizing. I felt like there was no relief physically or emotionally.

But when you understand your pain isn’t there to make you miserable, your horizons open up to new possibilities.

Pain is present because your mind, body, or soul is trying to communicate with you. It’s there to protect you.

In our culture, we are taught to avoid and stop pain at all costs.

At times, this can be helpful. But far too often this mindset looses site of the bigger picture and causes us to put band-aids on gaping wounds. It casts the belief that pain is always your enemy, an entity that needs to be destroyed without observation.

When you see pain and suffering for what it really is, it leads to deeper understanding

Pain and suffering is our body’s way of communicating a need to you.


It’s a voice pushing you to find help or change.


It is your protector. It is a catalyst.


This goes for physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. And because you are an interconnected being, physical pain can be a result of an emotional problem, emotional pain can be the result of physical problem, and so on. 


I’ll give you some examples to sum up a few ways this can look like in every day life.


My friend Tim was depressed. For so long he assumed his depression as a result of not exercising. He believed his emotional suffering was a result of a physical problem.


He would try to make time for exercising, but he could usually only go to the gym for about a week before quitting. Tim finally went to a life coach and after digging deep he realized his depression actually stemmed from his lack of fulfillment in his relationship. He had been in a relationship with his girlfriend for a few years. Things had been okay in the beginning, but as the years went by his girlfriend constantly insulted and criticized Tim no matter how hard he tried. Not long after this realization, Tim broke up with his girlfriend and he was no longer depressed.


Tim’s emotional pain was a result of an emotional problem in his everyday life. Tim’s suffering was the catalyst to make a peaceful change in his life.


Beth suffered from a chronic illness. Most of her life she had lived happily and actively. Now her life was completely different and her abilities were limited. She hated her body for giving up on her while she had so much life to live. Shame and anger eventually became her best friends.


Beth’s physical problem was causing her emotional suffering.


After learning about listening to her pain, Beth was able to see that her physical pain was there to help her understand what her body was going through. Without her mind being clouded by shame and anger, she had the mental space to find herself better treatment. Her daily suffering disappeared when she was able to finally embrace her new life and body as it was. Seeing her pain as her protector provided Beth the emotional bandwidth to seek better treatment.


When your body is trying to communicate through pain or suffering through it’s interconnection, it can be confusing and difficult if you do not yet understand how this works.


Yet when you lean into your pain to figure out how it is serving you in the big picture, you are able to search for results and live more peacefully.


Now does this concept mean that you are all the sudden going to be immune from pain and suffering through out your life?


Of course not.


However, it will provide you with a deeper understanding of self. Which leads to more internal peace and internal peace leads to less suffering.


Lies Our Parents Told us About Food

Your family’s normalized idea of health might not be healthy for you.

Now I say all this with gentleness because being incorrect doesn’t mean they don’t love you or have your best interests at heart.

It simply means they most likely are doing their best with what they have been taught. And I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up we ate things like poptarts, bologna, and fastfood on a weekly basis.


Once more and more information came out about how harmful these kinds of foods were my parents tried to adjust, but it was hard on all of us after spending atleast a decade eating like this. Habits die hard, especially when it’s an entire lifestyle change for an entire family. And remember it was the 90s, so internet and social media was not like it is today.


So here’s a thought:
If your family has a history of physical illness, weight concerns, or body loathing… Maybe they aren’t the best people to go to for health and wellness advice.

Smiling and thanking your family for their words while instead listening to those who have more knowledge doesn’t make you disloyal.


In fact, it’s the opposite.


It makes you wise.


You makes you the chain breaker.


It gives you the hope to one day bring new knowledge to the people you love most to help change their lives for the better.


It all starts with going outside your internal circle because people who think differently and act differently than what you are used to, have different results than what you are used to seeing in your internal circle.

The Ultimate Health Myth

I felt nervous and weirdly excited as I waited with my toothbrush as the gagging continued.
Me and my sisters were ‘trying out’ bulimia.
One by one we stuck our toothbrushes down our throats as the rest of us waited behind the door cringing.
Looking back I see how messed up this was, but at the time looking like a walking skeleton was in and the mantra ‘beauty is pain’ was seethed into me from a young age.
My turn came.
I stuck my toothbrush in the back of my throat.
Nothing came out. I tried again. Over and over until my throat was raw. Nothing happened.
Well, I guess bulimia isn’t for me I shrugged.
Throughout my childhood I watched the people I looked up to struggle with food. I saw both extremes:
Overeating & underrating.
Male and female.
This is how I was raised to view food.
As the enemy that haunted the image in the mirror no matter what size you were.
It wasn’t until I met my husband that this mindset changed for me.
He changed EVERYTHING by one sentence.
In the beginning of our dating days he asked me to workout with him. I told him no, I don’t need to loose any weight.
“It’s not about loosing weight or looking good.” He explained. “It’s about FEELING good.”
I was silenced by his viewpoint.
It was something I had never been exposed to. It was the catalyst that began my health journey.
And I’ve been honored as a life coach as my team and I have walked men and women through their journeys of loving their bodies and seeing food as fuel instead of the enemy.

What is a Life Coach?

The short answer?

A life coach is a professional who helps you identify

and meet your goals.

Are you ready for the long answer?

Many people believe a life coach is a therapist or even worse, someone who identifies as a mental health worker yet doesn’t have a license. But a life coach is specifically goal oriented, not mental health focused.

What this means is that your life coach has a broader spectrum of life problems she/he can help you with verses a therapist solely helps you with mental health concerns.


Now here a some things to know when hiring your first life coach.

1) A professional life coach helps you identify your goals.


2) Next she/he helps you work through the root causes of your current limitations. What holds you back from being who you want to be in life?


3) Lastly your coach holds you accountable by empowering you with the habits, mindset, and skills to be able to accomplish your goals.

If you want to change your life, a life coach is the person you hire.

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