A Bubbly Woman is Hidden Power
Why Don’t I Have More Money in My Life?
We All Carry Something
Does your illness ever make you want to scream?
I want to scream at the top of my lungs
“I’M STRONG ENOOOOOOUGH! BODY WHYYY? Why are you not listening? Can’t you hear me?!”
Because maybe if I scream loud enough, she will hear me. Maybe if I scream long enough,she will Finally listen.
I know, I know…It’s a little ludicrous to want to scream at your body, right?
Well, I don’t think it’s ludicrous. I think it actually makes perfect sense. Especially with all the none sense she’s put you through. I get it.
One day I’m going to climb a mountain somewhere and do it. I’m going to scream at the top of my lungs and let it all out. And then… I think I will cry. I will sink to my knees and cry my eyes out.
I won’t hold back my tears. They will stream down my face and rock my body until I have no more tears left in this ocean. And it’ll be okay.
Really. It’s always okay. But Living in a broken body is way too hard some days.
But know this my beautiful friend. When I climb this mountain to make this courageous scream, I’m not going to be pointing it at her.
Because I know she’s trying her hardest too.
This weak body of yours? She sat through every doctors appointment with you, she’s the one who got stabbed with needle after needle for you: She’s been through a lot too.
She never meant to let you down. Surely you know that she was made in God’s perfect image and is trying her very best?
She heard you whisper,
“I’m strong enough…I swear.”
She wanted to believe you and she fought with the fierceness you gave her.
She’s sorry. She knows she’s disappointed you. She felt the shifts of pain consume your body.
But remember, it was her hands that drew the pictures of your childhood dreams. Those hands also held tissues to your nose when no one else was around.
She was awake with you at 2 am feeling every ounce of your restlessness. Every time.
Her ears rang with sorrow as daddy said to your daughters, “Mommy’s not feeling good today…” Again.
She remembers it all as plainly as you do.
So even when she fails please make no mistake…
She knows you are strong enough.
You are.
And it’s okay.