This week a man said the exact words to me that I’ve been terrified of for years. Since the day I even considered becoming a life coach, I have been scared to be seen as a fraud, or as a guru with no direction.
I couldn’t bare the thought of this for so long that I didn’t even claim the title “Life Coach” for my first year of life coaching. Who am I to claim such a title?
“They have the coolest professions!” My new found friend introduced me and waited for me to continue my own introduction to the older man sitting on the modern looking, elegant stool.
“I’m a professional life coach.” I said with a smile. I was pleased as a few people at the bar gushed over how the little town was in dire need of a life coach. I was impressed that everyone seemed so kind and generous with their compliments of those around them, even though most of us had only met less than an hour earlier.
I was feeling quite proud of myself as the older man turned to me. The rest of the group became occupied as he spoke to me.
He jabbered about a reality TV show with a life coach. I smiled politely, already feeling uneasy in my stomach with the judgemental tone in his voice. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt because I had no idea what show he was talking about.
“She’s nothing but a con artist!” He insisted referring to the life coach he had seen on TV.
“Oh is that so?” I interacted with raised brows.
Then he looked me deep in the eyes and tilted his glass in my direction.
“So that makes you nothing but a con artist.” He stated sharply.
Oh no! My worst nightmare. The directness of his comment and long intense stare made me step uneasily with surprise. I’ve been dreading this day for years. I waited for the terror of his words to hit me.
But to my own surprise I found myself smiling and laughing.
“No, it’s not like that.” I said unshakably.
And that was that.
Before I became a life coach I promised I would never base my practice on sand, I would build a solid foundation for the people I serve, and anything less was unacceptable.
I’ve tested every strategy that I put out. My success rate is over 90% when most gurus only hold a 10% impact rate. If I didn’t keep track of my numbers, I probably would have felt much less confident with this encounter.
But despite my numbers what it boils down to is knowing my authority as a coach. Are there things that I’m not good at? Absolutely! You all should see my house on a Tuesday afternoon. House cleaning is not my forte. That’s why one of my first goals when I was making money as a coach was to hire a house cleaner which I did.
However, when it comes to coaching I am fire!
I get people the results they come for.
This confidence does not come from perfection. I have made a million mistakes along the way in my business. But instead of holding on to shame or letting those mistakes define me, I see them as opportunities to learn and grow from.
You are not your mistakes. You are you. And even if your entire coaching business went up in flames, you would still be you.
The last part of this I would add to any coach or business owner reading this terrified of day some ninny comes to call you a fraud is this. Read it as loudly in your head as possible.
Do not take advice or critique from anyone who is not in the ring with you. If the person saying the words has never put themselves out there, fought the fight of vulnerability, and become a successful coach like you, don’t let their words touch you.
If the critic has cheap seats to watch you, don’t let their words touch you.
If they have no idea the amount of work you have put into this; if they have no idea about all the things you have sacrificed and more their words do not deserve an extra ounce of your energy.
